The wind is blowing hard in these parts. Leaves are rustling around in noisy piles. December has come and I've been writing, quietly. Hidden away, in nooks and crannies, I've gotten into the habit of holing up. And I think it's time for change, just as sure as the months keep coming, like today.
Monday happened upon me in a flurry of activity and yet, slow it went. Enough time passed to be productive, for once. Gray skies pushed out the 70's and ushered in the cold, again. The fifteen-ish extra pounds that I've gained since I stopped working out a couple years ago, keeps hanging 'round too. I've grown accustomed to them even as I make promises to chase them away.
But it is Advent. And this is the month of birthing and re-birthing, of remembering the labor pains, the gestation of becoming alive in ways never experienced before. I've contemplated change this year, prayed over a word that could be the one for 2015, and questioned my commitment to all of this writing stuff.
Truth is, I process through writing and this is how God has counseled me on so much of life. So I dug and kept at it even as insecurities railed against me. Because I firmly know and believe--words change us. And the Word is still changing us and for that, I went on.
When I was young, the focus of faith or religion was on salvation, on saying a particular prayer to get "it". If you got that, then you had everything. But nobody told me there was more. So much more. It was not until I was in my mid-20's, making a comeback after living a prodigal's life, that I discovered it. And it was not in church. Instead, I found more between the lines of black and white, than all the sermons I'd heard, rolled into one. Between the red words and the dark ones, was a Holy Spirit shooting rapid-fire truths like a two-edged sword, cutting to the marrow of what that "more" entailed.
There is more which leads to a rich and spiritual relationship available to any one who seeks it. But also, it is a supernatural God invading our lives in the right now. Not just in the there-after's, but in the present-day-this-very-moment, now's. It also happens to be what I continue to talk about, over and again. For I've also been convinced of the necessity of how we need Narnia eyes to see. Not to glorify the unseen, but to know how marvelously mysterious and magical God is, in contrast to our own temporal, finite thinking.
As Advent and the New Year approach, I plan to be absent here. I don't plan to return. But I'm going somewhere, in 2015. During that time, I'll be in the interior life to allow God to excavate what He is doing in me. Whatever that means to my soul and flesh. But I'd love for you to walk with me, along the quiet corners, as I discover how that effects my faith, or what God is doing in the midst of the struggles, or how it will be impacting my sanity and security, or how it challenges me and you to do the scary God stuff we're called to do.
Since I am a community-orientated person, I want us to stay together. I have crazy ideas, scary messages, and I need a safe community to share these things. So, you could help me process and find the footing I need. I plan to do that through a community of email subscribers because it is more intimate that way. I'm not sure where it all leads, but I'd be ever so grateful to have you there beside me as I figure it out.
P.s. In this intimate community, here are some of the ways you could hold my hand and I'll hold yours: allow me to share some of the behind the scenes of what I'm doing at Outside the City Gate where there's an invitation: To Collaborate With You. Or you can be with me regarding a Church of Any Color, which by the way, won't leave my mind, soul, or heart. Plus fear has been teaching me about pressing in, of facing it in the eye, and how we could work on overcoming it, in spite of terrorizing roadblocks. Then there's a small ebook which scares the fire out of me that I've been writing, wringing my hands over, and plan to give away for free (if I don't lose my nerve). Hence, talking about fear, and us being there for each other. To which, there are some strong things to say about the ol' fear thing. Because Kingdom come, there is power on earth as it is in heaven, right? Maybe you know a thing or two about that and together we will walk this out?
P.s.s. And also, am I excited for this girl right here who is stepping out of the boat in many, many ways and is offering a place for unique gift ideas. And do you know, she is a speaker too? Yep. She is getting her brave on. I'm over there, helping her kick of her #reclaimingbeauty series where I talk about my farm and share some photos from it.
P.s.s.s I hate goodbye's. They are so awkward. How about, "see ya later" and take this conversation to email, shall we? Otherwise I feel a need to say, "And I would like to humbly thank, Blogger, for this wonderful opportunity and to those who've been here for me in the hard places of my faith journey....." Gah. Let's just not break up. I'm not good with either, goodbyes or breakups. See? This p.s.s.s. drags on, like a bad record. So I just need. to. stop.
P.s.s.s.s. Because of P.s.s.s., one last thing: